I have been married for 8 years now. Two years into the marriage, I had a fling with another guy. Well, let's just say it was a fling, because it was more of a mutual flirting. It didn't get too far -- it didn't get to the point we'd have sex -- because I made the decision to stop. I told my husband about it. He was so furious and never really got to forgive me completely.
Then he had an affair a year after that. I thought part of the reason was his remorse or resentment for me. And maybe revenge. But he did fall in love. I found out about it and the affair stopped. Not only did I forgive him, but I did blame myself, too.
Before we celebrated our fifth wedding anniversary, I caught him cheating again. He said it wasn't serious, said he was sorry, and we moved on. Now, he's cheating for the third time. I have yet to get confirmation but I can really tell, based on the 'signs' I have seen from the two previous ones.
When does this stop? When do I say enough is enough?
Enough is enough! Fooled you once, his fault. Fooled you twice, pack your bags. Thrice and you're still with him? Then there's something wrong with you. I'm a cheater and I fear that my wife would leave me when she finds out. But if I have to put myself in my wife's shoes, she needs to leave and bring her pride with her. Don't blame yourself that your husband is an asshole!
I have been married for 8 years now. Two years into the marriage, I had a fling with another guy. Well, let's just say it was a fling, because it was more of a mutual flirting. It didn't get too far -- it didn't get to the point we'd have sex -- because I made the decision to stop. I told my husband about it. He was so furious and never really got to forgive me completely.
Then he had an affair a year after that. I thought part of the reason was his remorse or resentment for me. And maybe revenge. But he did fall in love. I found out about it and the affair stopped. Not only did I forgive him, but I did blame myself, too.
Before we celebrated our fifth wedding anniversary, I caught him cheating again. He said it wasn't serious, said he was sorry, and we moved on. Now, he's cheating for the third time. I have yet to get confirmation but I can really tell, based on the 'signs' I have seen from the two previous ones.
When does this stop? When do I say enough is enough?
Well, I am inclined to say, "you started it"
Maybe, just maybe, you are not being really sincere in your efforts to patch up. The thing is, when you get found out and the trust is broken, it will be VERY DIFFICULT to gain it back.
And to be honest, I won't sugarcoat it, you have to DO EVERYTHING to make sure that you gain his trust back. It is the ONLY way for you to rid your marriage of its demons.
but I am sure that your husband has communicated to you how to gain his trust back. It might be as simple as asking for you to cook for him, or keeping the house clean. Surprising him with a weekend gateaway. Or building a project for him. All these to show your love. Personally, the more difficult it is, the better.
I'd hate to say this, but you brought it upon yourself to suffer the consequences of your actions.
Enough is enough! Fooled you once, his fault. Fooled you twice, pack your bags. Thrice and you're still with him? Then there's something wrong with you. I'm a cheater and I fear that my wife would leave me when she finds out. But if I have to put myself in my wife's shoes, she needs to leave and bring her pride with her. Don't blame yourself that your husband is an asshole!
Be careful what you wish for, risque. It's easy to go up a moral highground when we don't see ourselves in the mirror. Being a cheater, you know how it feels to be wrong. And yet you still do it while knwoing its wrong. When you get found out, just be sure you are ready for the consequences.
